Learning how to Fly....

Been a while since I came on here..

Some days I am really happy and some days I am soo sad, so I honestly don’t know if I am getting better or not. Physically I am healthier, and more muscular, toned. I wear heels everywhere now, and it is a workout! :)

Gosh I am tired, and have so much to do.. Exams are coming…

Vegadrink,

oh if only you tasted good >.<;

it is like 260 cal per serving but takes like an hour to finish.

It has all the vitamins I need, like no sugar or fat, and 23 grams of protein!

For a couple month I am going to try living off this stuff, and eating chili peppers when I want food.

Yum. -,-

Going Shopping.

Well partially >.> I am a bit of a klepto, so something tells me I am gunna come home with more than what’s on my list…

Anyways!

-a new scale, I wanna nice one, not my moms like 10 year old crap one.

-laxatives

-Diet pills, maybe, i got some already but i feel like experimenting :p

-chili peppers, for anytime I wanna binge

Melatonin.

Got some for my insomnia! I am pretty happy :D cause it works!! I actually slept for 15 hours last night!!15 hours!!( probably more than i slept last week)I didn’t even have nightmares! <3333

All I want to do is cut.

But I can’t let down ian… I wouldn’t be able to deal with that guilt…

Oh god, please let me, please please please! I need it..

I have never wanted to do something so intensely… I am gunna go crazy..

Do you know what I love about the weight loss community? It is a community. We understand each other and our desires, we are there for each other. We are a family of sorts. I never realized this when I started but this blog has really become somewhere where I can say some of my deepest thoughts and experiences without people judging. People in this community really care. So thank you. Thank you for always being there and caring, at times when I felt no one did. Thank you for looking out for my well-being. Thank you.